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Parisian. Sounds like it would be a smelly cheese but it’s actually the French. They do eat a lot of cheese anyway (and from what I hear, stay away from it). So France is one of those countries – an enigma wrapped in a metaphor. Are the French really rude? Is that like saying all Americans are lazy? Then I guess we have our answer.
Going to France is like no other experience though. You will definitely not do the same thing as your amigos going to Mexico getting really drunk and laying on the beach all day. (You will most definitely experience some great wine and drinks while in France, so if drinking is the only condition for your trip then you are in the clear.)
First off you will be treated rudely in any country and in many situations if you act like a “typical loud American tourist”, and Paris is no different. You know you are a tourist, but don’t be so obvious about it. It is true the French often don’t like us American folk, so if possible leave your backpack in the hotel, make sure you know where you are going and how to get there, and always know what the correct change is. When entering a store always say “bonjour Madame [or Messieur]” and don’t lose your cool.
Unfortunately the French just do things their way, including being rude. Service in restaurants is dreadfully slow. You probably could wait in a restaurant long enough to witness grapes turning into wine. The quick remedy to that would be to stop by one of the local crepe stands that are scattered all over the city. Crepe stands would be equivalent to taco stands in the United States, they are everywhere and the food they serve is cheap, quick and good.
If you want a current listing of things to do pick up a copy of weekly entertainment guides. Pariscope and L’Officiel des Spectacles are some of the local papers that have these listings. Paris does not have a shortage of things to do. The main reasons to visit Paris are the most populated tourist spots, but although this might be a drawback for some, you will have a much greater appreciation for the sights and sounds of Europe after leaving Paris. It is a huge city with an extensive history and an endless supply of history lessons waiting to be discovered. To cram everything there is to do in Paris in a short time would be hard, but here are a few highlights that shouldn’t be missed.
- Throw caution to the wind and be all the tourist you can be. First stop has to be the Eiffel tower. The Eiffel Tower has been the backdrop for countless romantic movies, and its somewhat romantic past included a threat to be torn down in 1909. The tower was built in 1889 to commemorate the French Revolution at the World Fair and was aptly named after its designer Gustave Eiffel. At a whopping 1050 feet tall it was the largest structure in the world until 1930. There are three levels of the tower that visitors can access by stairs or a lift, but be sure the tower is open when you plan to visit (it is sometimes closed due to high winds). That would really blow.
- From the sights of the Eiffel tower you can see the world famous promenade Champs-Élysées. This one mile-long avenue is now the home of expensive restaurants and over-priced souvenir shops. The atmosphere is great, but don’t go intending to spend your wad here. You’ll soon be asking “‘wad’ do I have to show for that?”
- At the end of the Champs-Élysées is also the popular Arc de Triomphe. See, there was this heinous dude named Napoléon, he was a French emperor who conquered lots of Europe. He was so stoked about his army that he wanted to make this arch in Paris, and his troops would march through it and everyone would cheer and stuff. But dude, it so never happened cause this other dude General Wellington defeated Napoléon and so he lost. So the arch was finished in 1836 and is now a memorial for all the killed soldiers of World War I and the grave of the Unknown Soldier. The Arc is also now the site of about 12 intersecting avenues in Paris, and is widely known as one of the most dangerous places to drive. So if you intend to visit the Arc do not try to cross the multiple lanes of traffic, there is a tunnel that goes under the avenue to keep clueless tourists from risking their lives by crossing speeding traffic.
- Who would come to Paris and not visit the Louvre? Practically no one. The Louvre is the most visited museum in France. It started out as a fortress around 1200, was remodeled and became a royal palace in the 16th century and has most recently (1793) become a public museum. The 67-foot glass pyramid entrance was built in 1980 when the Louvre had its most recent face-lift, and has since won over the first doubtful spectators. The Louvre is home of the famous Mona Lisa, Venus de Milo and literally miles of other priceless art. (Of course everyone has to see the Mona Lisa up close and personal, but let me tell you from first-hand experience that it is somewhat disappointing.) The beauty and enormousness of the Louvre has moved into the 20th century, and proof of that is the large shopping mall and food court located underneath it. Your justification for going to the Louvre could be that shopping is like the last true art form.
- Next on the whirlwind of stops in Paris is Notre Dame. If football was Parisian and it was called Notre Dame it would have been around for a long, long time. Construction began on this cathedral in 1163 and was not completed until 1345. It can accommodate approximately 6,000 worshipers (football fans or not) and is considered on of Paris’s greatest achievements. At the top of this Gothic-inspired architecture are famous gargoyles that look out on the city, and you too can experience this view from high atop the Notre Dame cathedral.
- I am dead serious about this next Paris location, and so are the many visitors that this cemetery attracts. The Cimetière du Père Lachaise was founded in 1805 and draws more people than any other cemetery in the world. There are more than one million people buried here, and the tombs of some very famous people can be found. Can you guess what is the most visited grave in the Cimetière du Père Lachaise? The answer would be: The Doors lead singer Jim Morrison.
- Later in the 18th century Paris was having a population problem, the over population of the deceased. Cemeteries in the city were literally overflowing, so the city decided to exhume the bones of the dead and relocate them to unused quarries under the city. These tunnels were called the Catacombes and in 1785 they opened for business. Strangely enough, this is a popular tourist destination in Paris. 65 feet underground begins the fun and with no shame from the Parisian, visitors over 60 get into the Catacombes for free. Funny joke or just not funny at all?
- So after visiting the burial place of millions of people do you now want to go to the second happiest place on earth? Have no fear: Disneyland Paris is here. Located outside of Paris this day trip attracts lots of people. But if you want to leave Disneyland Paris to the kiddies, there is one more educational and interesting stop on your travels. Skip the Disney adventure and hang out at Versailles, the former political capital and place of the royal court. King Louis XIV did not spare a single expense while making this lavish royal play land. Think Disneyland times 10, but in the 1600s.
So there you have it. These are some of the historical hotspots not to miss while in Paris. But to mix up your trip, take a pit stop by the seedy side of Paris. It has gotten more attention in the past few years with the blockbuster movie Moulin Rouge, and I don’t think anyone can forget it or its annoyingly catchy theme song. Paris is the place of origin for the Moulin Rouge – it was not just a fabricated land that Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor danced and sung to in the lights of Hollywood. The United States is much too conservative for this sordid array of brothels, bars and sex museums – you can only find this stuff in Paris, and if you are into that sort of thing, well then, Vive la France!
